I created this vision board in October 2016. I’d just taken voluntary redundancy from a 9-5 job with a pension, I’d been doing for 15 years, to become self employed.
It was like jumping off a cliff.
My biggest fear was that I would fail, that I wouldn’t be strong enough, brave enough or smart enough to run my own successful business. That kind of fear can be paralysing.
It felt pretty lonely. I was brought up to be independent, so I don’t ask for help too often, almost never. When I look at this collection of images and words now, with the perspective of time, I can see many calls for help and support.
The process I use is to note down the main negative thoughts that run through my mind on a daily basis. Picking the biggest one I turn it around to find an opposite positive statement. I have used this method for personal work over the years and because I found it worked for me I use it with others in Crafting Your Soul workshops.
So I turned “I’m going to fail at this new life.” into “I step into life.” Maybe I would make it work and maybe I wouldn’t, but I wasn’t going to let my fear paralyse me from moving forward and trying. With that mantra in my head I flicked through magazines, tearing out anything that jumped out at me, without censoring or questioning my choices. I placed an image of me at the centre to reinforce the power of these elements in my life.
I was pretty happy with my board, put it up on my alter and looked at it most days. As usual I was surprised by my selection. It felt like a riddle waiting to be unravelled, the meaning deciphered.
Fast forward sixteen months and I’m looking at it with fresh eyes, knowing all that’s happened since I created it.
A few months after making the vision board some friends and I set up a group for people interested in both creative and healing work. The idea was to support each other in this work that we all feel is really needed on the planet right now. We are stronger together.
I began to train in Shamanism which, I discovered is a world consisting of a lower world, a middle world and an upper world, with a tree, the Axis Mundi, connecting them, clearly depicted on my board. There I journeyed to meet guides and allies that helped me in my work. I was part of a team and no longer alone. I could ask for their help at any time, in fact I was actively encouraged to call on them.
I also learned about “power with” as opposed to “power over”. Shamanism teaches us to work with whatever we are given rather than trying to manipulate it. As part of my training I receiving Shamanic healing. This helped me to value myself, my talents and gifts and understand my own power.
I began to see the work I had put in before and after I left my job bearing fruit as people began to come to my workshops, courses and healing treatments. I could see that they were getting great benefits from all that I was offering.
Then my Mother died. She was the butterfly taking off into the universe, but still there, watching over me. I have her feather brooch which reminds me to write and connect to divine inspiration. She reminds me to stay connected to Life.
I made so many new friends that are positive, creative people and made stronger bonds with old friends, even working on projects with them.
Last month I decided it was time for a new vision. What did I want for the year ahead? Greater self belief, stillness, focus, results, courage and a feeling of rootedness. I need to steady myself so that I’m ready to Be and I need to find my voice and value what I have to say.
What this riddle has to teach me remains to be seen, but when I look at my creation I’m excited for the future.
If you are interested in working in this way in a group check out my workshops on Facebook @craftingyoursoul